The Duo Maxwell Show
by A-chan1
Summary: It's the parody that should never have happened: The Duo Maxwell Show. Bananas, coffee, and yaoi--oh my!


  
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The Duo Maxwell Show  
A Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing Fic  
By: A-chan achan@dork.com www.defiled.org  
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Warnings: Implied shounen ai, implied yaoi, Tom Green  
Rated: TV-14  
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(Opening sequence. Camera fades in on various shots of Duo, clad in goggles and his usual priest garb, beating things with sticks, food products, and other miscelleneous objects.)  
  
Theme song: This is the Maxwell show,  
It's not the Yuy show,  
This is my favorite show!  
Cos, well, I said so! XÞ  
  
And if it was your show,  
...You'd probably still like mine,  
Because, again, I said so  
But it's not, so get over it. ^^  
  
(The title screen flashes as a fanfare plays. In big, bold print, it proclaims "The Duo Maxwell Show". Camera fades to black.  
  
Camera fades back in on Duo, performing a seductive strip tease on his desk. Heero is seated next to Duo. As always, his face is unemotional. Occassionally, he takes a sip of coffee. Sillouetted in the window in the room behind him is Trowa and Quatre. Quatre periodically glances at Trowa and giggles hysterically. Trowa does not notice; or, rather, he chooses not to.)  
  
Duo:Hey minna. ^^ Welcome to the show, ne? (He is now in varying states of undress. Heero looks at him, unimpressed.)  
  
Heero:Baka.  
  
Duo:Whaaaaaat? You know you want it. (He turns around and waggles his behind at Heero. Again, Heero looks on, unimpressed.)  
  
Quatre:(Giggles some more at Trowa.)  
  
Heero:(Snorts.)  
  
Duo:Yeah, that's what they all say. We'll see about that *later*, mm?  
  
  
  
(Camera suddenly fades out to black. The screen has white text, proclaiming "Wufei Has A Banana".  
  
  
  
Camera pans in on Duo. He is holding a microphone and a nondescript brown bag in front of a hangar.)  
  
Duo:(Smiles.) Today, I've got a big suprise for all you viewers. It's Chang Wufei's birthday! To celebrate, we've brought him a little present. ^^  
  
(Camera shifts from Duo to a rather... short... individual. The midget's eyes twinkle as he does a little wave to the camera.)  
  
Duo:(Goes down onto his knees. He reaches into the bag and pulls out a midget-sized banana suit. He hands it to the midget, who promptly puts it on over his clothing.) Now aren't you the sexy one?!  
  
Midget:(Giggles.) Boy do I!  
  
(As this exchange goes on, Wufei walks out from the hangar. He wipes his brow with one arm as he moves, unknowingly, toward the camera.)  
  
Duo:(Deftly steps in front of the midget-banana before Wufei can spot it. He smiles brightly at the Chinese pilot.) Why, if it isn't the birthday boy!  
  
Wufei:Gah. (Sniffs airily.) What brings you here, Duo? And Heero, why do you have that camera?  
  
Heero: (Grunts.)  
  
Duo:We wanted to bring you a birthday gift! (Eyes shine happily.)  
  
Wufei:A gift...? (Eyebrows move questioningly.) For me?  
  
Duo:(Nods enthusiastically. He reaches behind him and produces the brown bag. He hands it over to Wufei.) I hope you like it. I picked it out myself. (Blushes.)  
  
Wufei:(Blinks and reaches inside the bag, which he immediantly discards. He blinks at the rather... large... banana, with little tiny feet sticking out.) Duo...? What the hell?  
  
Duo:(Claps.) Wuuuuuuuuuuuu's got a banana! Banana!  
  
Wufei:(Blinks some more. He places the banana on the ground. The midget-banana begins running circles around Wufei, making banana noises.) IT'S POSSESSED!  
  
Duo:(Is jumping around, singing.) Ba-na-na! Ba-na-na! Wu-wu's got ba-na-na! Ba-na-na! Ba-na-na!  
  
Midget:(Continues to make random banana noises. He latches himself onto Wufei's leg.)  
  
Wufei:GET THIS... BANANA OFF ME! (Begins shaking leg. Midget-banana loses grip and flies to the ground, at Duo's feet.)  
  
Duo:(Falls over and crawls to the midget-banana. He begins whimpering.) Wu-wu... throw... ba-na-na. Wu-wu... throw... ba-na-na... (He pokes at the midget-banana. It does not move. He lets out an anguished wail.) WU-WU KILLED BA-NA-NA! WU-WU KILLED BA-NA-NA! (Begins pounding on the ground with his fists, screaming.) BA-NA-NA! BA-NA-NA! WU-WU KILLED BA-NA-NA!  
  
Wufei:... (Gives Duo a disdainful look and begins to walk back to the hangar.)  
  
Duo:BA-NA-NAAAAAAAAAAA! (Throws himself at Wufei, grabs onto his leg, and tries to drag Wufei back to where the midget-banana lies.)  
  
Wufei: ...Omae o korosu.  
  
(Camera is suddenly dropped to the ground. Heero's trademark boots can be seen calmly striding to where Wufei and Duo stand. Wufei can be heard screaming as Heero delivers him a sound thrashing. Soon, all is quiet.)  
  
Heero:Pah. Teach him to use my catch phrase.  
  
  



End file.
